Abstinence (Cause for Concern)

Traditional sexual values are disintegrating in our culture, causing many social ills to vastly increase.

by Focus on the Family Issue Analysts

Our global society has become increasingly more liberal, with a substantial change since the late 1990s. The American home has been profoundly affected with the use of multiple personal computers per household, all accessing the Internet. Much of the information streaming into our personal spaces each day is very useful. But, some of the information is sexually explicit and harmful to both children and adults.

Today, it is not unusual to hear sexual topics talked about on elementary school playgrounds by the children themselves. Most young students have no context in which to process the information they're hearing. Sadly, traditional sexual values are disintegrating in our culture, causing many social ills to vastly increase.

Less than half of high school teens are sexually active (having intercourse). ¹The percentage of teens having intercourse over the past several years has decreased because of the abstinence messages they're hearing in schools and in their homes. And the percentage of teens becoming pregnant has dropped from 15 percent in 1990 to 12 percent in 2004. ²Even though teen birth rates have declined since the early 1990s, out-of-wedlock births in the United States continue to climb. ³

According to research, few teens have sexual intercourse in their early teen years, but the older they are the more sexually active they become. By the age of 24, 89 percent of males and 92 percent of females have had intercourse. ⁴If we are to keep teens and young adults healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually, we need to assist far more than 11 percent of youth to remain abstinent until marriage.

In addition to the health risks of teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections affect a disproportionate number of youth per year, and, in some cases, may cause life-long consequences. In the U.S. alone, there are 19 million new cases of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) reported each year, with half of these cases occurring among 15-24-year-olds. ⁵

Teaching the use of contraceptives and condoms has been the solution of some sex educators to keep sexual practices safer for teens and adults. Focus on the Family does not support sexual activity outside of marriage because this practice does not support God's design for sexuality. Eliminating the risks of out-of-wedlock sexual behaviors is the highest standard, and God does not stand for simply avoidingsome of the risks. He wants only the best for humanity. It's also vital to understand that teaching condom use is not the same as correct or consistent condom use. A 2005 study of 509 adolescent girls found that only 35 percent used condoms, and, of those girls, only about half used them correctly. ⁶

Abstinence from sexual behavior before marriage helps build a solid foundation upon which one can build a family and a society. Our primary concern with sexual activity outside the bounds of marriage is that it violates God's plan. We were not placed on this earth for our own enjoyment or with the ability to be our own judge. God is our creator, our sustainer and our judge. Behaving in such a way as to cast aside His guidance leads us down a path of spiritual devastation. But God's plan is perfect and increases blessings in all lives.

Abstinence (Our Position)

Sexuality is a glorious gift from God meant to honour Him either in marriage or in celibacy.

by Focus on the Family Issue Analysts

Focus on the Family is dedicated to defending the permanence of marriage and traditional families. We believe that the institution of marriage is a sacred covenant, meant to be the basic building block of human civilization.

Research has found that marriages and families tend to survive for a lifetime when entered into by two loving, opposite-gender individuals who have saved themselves sexually for each other and remain faithful to one another. This is in accordance with God's plan.

Sex is beautiful and holy. The purpose of sex is for procreation, union (bonding), mutual delight between husband and wife, and celibacy (if single). Sex is unselfish and centered on the other spouse, not on oneself. When we remain abstinent before marriage and faithful within marriage, we are not simply saying "no" to sex but rather "yes" to God's unique plan. Therefore, abstinence before marriage and faithfulness within marriage have historically protected and will continue to protect individuals and society.

Like married people, singles are called to steward their sexuality as a gift from God. They do so through faithful devotion to Christ. By foregoing or awaiting the intimacies of marriage, a single person affirms the exclusive and covenantal relationship of marriage and all it symbolizes. Celibacy is a worthy state for mature men and women.

Remaining abstinent until marriage manifests a number of immediate benefits for the individual who follows God's plan, and it also lays a foundation of blessings for the individual's future spouse, children and extended family. God's moral standards are meant for ultimate freedom and protection in sexual expression.

Parents are charged with teaching the next generation the sexual morals given to them by God. Parents are responsible for staying involved with their children to keep communication open so that they can continually educate them in God-centered sexuality. Children, teens and young adults need to know the implications of sexual sin for themselves and others. It's essential that they realize the need for repentance and Christ's forgiveness, mercy and grace. But they must also realize that the consequences of sexual sin cannot always be erased in this life.

Sexuality is a glorious gift from God meant to honor Him either in marriage or in celibacy. Unmarried singles who abstain from sex are as pleasing to God as faithful persons in marriage. All people – even unmarried teenagers – can rely on God's strength to abstain from sex before marriage. Abstinence outside of marriage supports God's design for sexual intimacy.

Abstinence (Talking Points)

by Focus on the Family Issue Analysts

• While sexual intimacy is the exclusive privilege of a husband and wife within the context of marriage, sexual morality is the concern of individuals, families and society.
• Abstinence until and faithfulness within marriage fulfill the biblical guidelines of sexual morality, which include the following:
  • Human sexuality is both a gift and a responsibility.
  • The morality of sex is defined by God's holiness and His standards rather than by human desire, experience, personal preference, culture or opinion.
  • Sexual behavior is moral only within the institution of heterosexual, monogamous marriage.
  • Marriage protects an important purpose of personal sexual intimacy: to reflect the intimate moral and spiritual union Christ will one day enjoy with His Church.
  • God's standards for sexual moral purity are meant to protect human happiness; only sex within marriage can be physically enjoyable, emotionally satisfying, psychologically fulfilling and spiritually meaningful as He fully intended.
  • Sex is not an entitlement, nor is it needed for personal wholeness or emotional maturity.
  • Sexual sins can be fully forgiven through repentance and faith in Christ's atoning work, but physical and psychological consequences caused by sexual sin cannot always be erased in this life.
  • Sexual celibacy is a worthy state for mature men and women. Unmarried singles who abstain from sex are as pleasing to God as faithful persons in marriage.
  • All persons – even unmarried teenagers – can rely on God's strength to abstain from sex before marriage.
• Sexual immorality threatens the stability of marriages and families. Early premarital sex increases the likelihood of promiscuity and future marital breakup. ¹
• Sexual immorality threatens the stability of our society. ²
• Sexual activity outside of marriage causes physical, mental and emotional consequences including out-of-wedlock childbearing, teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, guilt, fear, depression, lowered self-respect and increased risk of suicide. ³

Abstinence Before Marriage

by Focus on the Family Issue Analysts

Sex is a powerful drive, and for most of human history it has been firmly linked to marriage and childbearing. In modern history, the sexual revolution of the 60s and 70s accelerated the separation of sex from marriage and procreation. The development of modern contraceptives and the legalization of abortion were two key developments that prompted more people than ever before to move sexual expression outside the marriage boundary.

In addition, the rate of change in our sexual mores has greatly increased. The liberal media, a decade of privacy with personal computers in the home and the rapid growth in small electronics have resulted in an explosion of sexual content being accessed by family members.

Today, the issue of abstinence from sexual behaviors before marriage is most often discussed within the context of sex education in the public schools. And the ensuing debate over the most effective and appropriate method of sex education for students is a logical by-product of an ever-increasing sexualized society. Fundamentally, abstinence is viewed as refraining from sexual activity, but it would be better understood in the larger context of God's plan for relationships and intimacy.

As Christians, the concept of reserving sex for marriage is a part of God's original plan. In fact, it was an integral product of creation. Indeed, during creation, the gift of sex was among those things God declared to be "very good." In the beginning, God created man and woman, ordained marriage and gave sex, both as a gift and a responsibility, to mankind.

Notice that sex – more correctly identified as one's sexuality – was given to all mankind and not just married couples. The act itself is confined to marriage. Only then, when done according to God's plan, can sex be physically enjoyed to its fullest extent, emotionally satisfying, psychologically fulfilling and spiritually meaningful.

If the act of sex is meant for marriage, it begs the question: What is the practical application for those who are not married? We are to remain celibate and to offer ourselves completely up to God for His service, something that's very difficult when married.

For those who follow God's plan, He offers up His blessings. We see these blessings even from a purely secular context. Abstinence prevents unwed pregnancies 100 percent of the time and will prevent sexually transmitted infections if all behaviors are reserved for marriage.

Multiple studies have shown that individuals who remain abstinent before marriage have a better chance of remaining faithful in their marriage. When spouses are faithful within marriage, it allows the couple, and specifically the male, to build, save, protect, plan and prosper. So abstinence before marriage and faithfulness within marriage have historically protected the individual and society.

While sexual intimacy is the exclusive privilege of a husband and wife within the context of marriage, sexual morality is the concern of individuals, families and society. When approached in accordance with God's plan, the benefits of abstinence are innumerable.

Abstinence Policy

A responsible sex education program necessarily involves two elements: factual information and moral guidelines. While it's essential to focus on basic anatomy and the physical aspects of human sexuality, that's only half of the issue.

It's been said that sexual sophistication without sexual responsibility leads to disaster, a fact substantiated by the number of unwanted--often terminated--pregnancies in our nation each year. As parents strive to integrate and teach these factors in the home, it helps to encourage questions, communication, and reflection while exemplifying their own value system.

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